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    Dating old

    Why is it still such a sensational topic and what are the perks (and pitfalls) of entering into partnership where age knows no bounds?It’s been eight years since Newsweek famously proclaimed 2009 as the year of the cougar.And, unlike the 23-year-old who gets tanked and throws shade at your ex, she’s got class. I once went out with a young man from Queens who only dated older women because younger ladies, he found, couldn’t do a thing without checking in with 15 of their friends.In fact, your ex will likely friend her on FB (like my old bf’s ex-wife did). When you date a younger woman, he said, you also date all her friends, and it’s “a pain in the fucking ass.” You can’t just go out and do your own thing because she must receive approval from a larger governing body.Having seen more than two vulvas, he knows each is a beautiful and unique orchid and he won't hesitate to compliment yours.10. He holds it out from his body like he has stiff little Tyrannosaurus arms and the baby hangs there like, "Who the fuck handed me to this beer-breathed sociopath in cargo shorts?He doesn't give a shit if you haven't shaved in a few days. " Older guys probably have nieces or nephews or neighbor kids by this point and can interact with a child in a normal way. He doesn't try to get away with not using a condom.It is natural so reclaim your youth and try striking up a relationship, whether romantic or just friendship, with a younger lady!

    You didn't want to be with that guy who wanted an "outdoorsy girl" anyway. And he knows that vulvas don't usually look like two unused Pink Pearl erasers and smell like Bath and Body Works vanilla bean. Either way, older guys are more likely to be the most comfortable snuggle you've ever had.12. Have you ever seen an early-twentysomething guy get handed a baby?The now well-known term wasn’t a reference to the Chinese calendar; rather, it was a bordering-on-crass idiom coined to define 40-plus women with a predilection for younger gentlemen.Although the US-based magazine reasoned that the cougar-craze was a fad destined for cultural oblivion, the article offered up an intriguing explanation for the newfound popularity of older woman/younger man relationships. Some guys just come to this realization sooner than others *cough**cough*.5. Thanks to the patriarchy, women learn to master blow jobs early in their sexual lives (sometimes before they even lose their virginity) but guys typically don't figure out that women want their vulvas licked until their mid-20s. Oooh, yeah, work that upholstery attachment that you read about in the Miele manual.4. Every guy comes to the realization that being jealous of your guy friends just makes him look sad and lame.

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